Variety show!

Have you ever been to a variety show? I think our society should be divided up between those who have been and those who have not been to a variety show. I am a different person after experiencing one last night. I can't say I am a better person, my horizons have only been widened and wider is NOT always better, just take my word for it. We were given the ticket by someone that will remain nameless. The ticket was given to him by someone else. That should have been our first clue. No one wanted to go so "lets give it to someone who has never gone". There must be some club somewhere that people can join only if they have been to a variety show. They sit around and talk about their experience and make lists of people they can pawn off tickets to. It was a $35 dollar ticket. I was not about to let a $35 ticket go to waste. I mean if you can command $35 for your show you must be somewhat good, right? not necessarily! Some of you may be wondering what the show was like. I don't think I could explain it. You really have to experience it for yourself and if you give me your name and address I will put you on the list to recieve a free ticket when it is passed on to me. You might see these types of things on TV from time to time as you are flipping through the channels right between senior womens pro wrestling finals and the 'how to grow your own herb garden' show. One of the things that was more exciting than watching it on TV was that the first act was the hula hoop girl. Needless to say one of the hula hoops was launched into the audience and it was no surprise that when the plate twirling guy came out the custodian was waiting in the wings with a push broom, yeah, it was a good thing he was there. So, when someone offers you a 'variety show' ticket just say "no thanks, I have enough variety in my life" and walk away and if you don't have enough 'variety' in your life don't say I didn't warn you.
Poppy out.